The stupidest true historical story ever told will rescue you

Because it's fucking ridiculous and hilarious...and you know you need the laugh

Sometimes the Gods rescue you. They take pity on your “doing time” in a life that sometimes frustrates you so much you start writing undeservedly sad, emotionally bad poetry instead of doing what you are good at: drinking.

Today the Gods rescued me. So I’m going to pay that forward and rescue you too.

This is an honest-to-God true story. It’s not mine. It…